Twilight Taught Me How to Pick Up Chicks! by Frazer Ruddick - January 1st, 2010 Ah Twilight! It's the film which has caused young girls to hit puberty early. It's the film which has caused teenage boys to realise they could potentially stab someone in the span of their life. But most importantly, it's the film that has now given those branded as a 'creep' hope for scoring chicks! Gone are the days when "I wanted to kill you at first" would send a woman running. Now thanks to Twilight, approaching a female in a bar with smooth pick-up lines like that will result in her being on her knees unzipping your pants within seconds! I bet all the girls in high school who rejected me after I complimented them on their throbbing veins are kicking themselves now! And it's not just the smooth pick-up lines and creepy mannerisms that the ladies are swooning over these days. The verdict is in, and sparkling in sunlight is now considered far more attractive than a tan! A quick google search has shown me that men from all over the world aren't only resorting to covering themselves in glitter, they actually want to be real vampires.. much like this smooth criminal: See that guy is smart! He's covering all bases by wanting to be both a vampire and werewolf. It completely diminishes any worry of a confusing 'Edward or Jacob' situation for a young girl. And just think, if he hadn't have killed that person before, she would have been all over him! Well, thank you Twilight, now I can finally throw out my copy of 'How to Meet Women and Get Dates' by Kenneth Scott!